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Vacation Fertility Food Plan Tested

getting pregnant Fertility Blog, Fertility Diet March 6, 2021March 15, 2026

The fertility diet was taking hold. The holidays came and went with an outpouring of support from family and friends. They adjusted menus, cancelled chocolate gifts, and offered me support instead of cookies. It wasn’t until I went on vacation that my fertility food plan was tested.

Having a Fertility Food Plan Whilst On Vacation

It was going great!

That is until I left for a one week ski trip.

Here I am hiking up in search of great snow – found it.

Eating right while on vacation is of course hard. I know that. But I planned ahead. I packed the car with two huge boxes of food for lunches and a hot plate. Each lunch was planned out and I contacted the hotel in advance to make sure the cook knew how to prepare gluten free meals for dinner.

I was all set.

But that was theory and then there was reality.

The hotel breakfast didn’t offer anything gluten free or balanced in terms of carbs/protein/and fat – not that I expected it. It was, after all, France and keeping with tradition the breakfast consisted of nothing but white bread and to die for pastries of every kind.

But I had plenty of extra food with me so every morning along with making a hot lunch for my thermos; I made two hard boiled eggs to go with the gluten free bread, fruit and nuts I brought. Breakfast and lunch: balanced, healthy and right on target.

Dinner, however, was made by the hotel cook.

I had emailed ahead and talked to the owner the night we arrived. He said they have cooked gluten free before and it was no problem.

Sounded promising, but he was so relaxed about it, I had to probe him some more to make sure he really knew what gluten free was.

“We’ve done this before,” he reassured me.

So, I trusted him and sat down to dinner.

The food was great. They served me a different soup and my main meal was missing the obvious gluten items like pasta and bread.

“I think they just might know what they are doing,” I thought cautiously.

My Fertility Food Plan Goes Out the Window!

Then came dessert.

I hadn’t planned on having dessert. But they set a large pear in front of me covered in some tasty looking sauce and said it was gluten free.

“One little pear. It’s not that bad,” the rebel inside me said. The rest is history.

Each night they placed what they always called a gluten free dessert in front of me. And I’m talking desserts that even people with super hero willpower can’t resist, like chocolate mouse – how in the hell do you turn down chocolate mouse placed under your nose? Not me. I caved.

And then came the price tag. My digestive system began to revolt first – not the greatest thing for a backcountry ski trip. And then I woke up in the middle of the night with a terribly itchy chin and when I looked in the mirror in the morning my reflection resembled that of an acne plagued teenager (except for the crow’s feet).

Feeling Guilty and Letting it Go

It was too late. I couldn’t take it back. I’m home now with acne, an unhappy digestive system and I bleed when I go to the bathroom. The damage is done.

I should have drilled the cook harder and made sure they really knew what gluten free was. I should have resisted dessert. But I didn’t. I’m human and, I screw up.

So, now all I can do is forgive myself. Mentally beating myself up is not going to help me – or my fertility for that matter. There is no undo button so I’m going to hereby stop dwelling and start healing (At least I am going to try my best).

I know I’m not alone in this guilt and blame game. A lot of us suffering from infertility are busy beating ourselves up.

“I shouldn’t have waited so long to try and get pregnant.”

“I should eat better.” “I should lose weight.”

“I should have taken better care of myself,” etc, etc.

It’s time to let go. It’s time to forgive ourselves. Only then can we heal.

Diet and fertility

Experiencing a Miscarriage

getting pregnant Fertility Blog, Miscarriage March 1, 2021March 15, 2026

Last week was a week like no other. Monday started off with mid-cycle mystery cramps and bleeding that sent me straight to the gynecologist. Turns out I was pregnant and I was experiencing a miscarriage.

Strangely enough this was all OK with me. A miscarriage stinks, yes, but emotionally, I was relieved to know what was wrong (since I didn’t even know I was pregnant) and happy that my body was showing it could get pregnant again.

That was Monday.

Experiencing Miscarriage Cramps

Being completely naïve about how a miscarriage can be, I planned my week with all the work and fun I usually plan. I mean, I’ve heard about women who hardly even noticed that they miscarried. And except for the sporadic cramping phases, I was feeling OK. I mean why would it be any different for me?

Ha ha. Because my body is special that’s why.

On Tuesday night I woke up with terrible cramps that left me in tears and rendered my husband feeling helpless.

He brought me a heating pad and sat down on the bedroom floor while I moaned in pain and sprawled catty-corner across the bed in the most contorted maybe-this-will-help position.

A Visit to My Gynecologist

The next morning I was ready to listen to the Doc- maybe this isn’t going to be easy process. So, I called my gynecologist and headed in to see her.

She prepared the ultrasound. But before I crawled up onto the chair, she asked me why I seemed so stressed?

She’s a very competent doctor and I like her, but what the hell kind of question is that?

I was too tired to reiterate all the pain that I had last night and to explain that the idea of having an ectopic pregnancy scares me. Being in her office for a miscarriage instead of a pregnancy sucks.

I’m such a chicken. I just want her to do her job. I don’t need her for emotional support; I need her to solve my physical problem. OK a few supportive words would be nice but, you can’t have everything.

She’s a totally career orientated woman – which I used to be – so I wasn’t about to explain my desire for children or my feelings, instead I tried to relax and gave her the short version, “I had a lot of pain last night, which concerns me.”

The Ultrasound

On the ultrasound there was an empty uterus and something in the right tube.

“Nothing to be alarmed about at this point,” she said with certainty.

But something she said she’ll be watching. I headed home with a prescription for some pain medication and was told that I should rest.

Experiencing a Miscarriage- Rest, Cramps and Bleeding

I really didn’t have another option at this point. My body was tired. Each little task I tried to do became more and more exhausting. So, I found my place on the couch and wasn’t able to keep my eyes open for more than ten pages at a time of my good book.

The cramps were on some kind of schedule because each night around 9:30 they kicked in. They were muffled by the painkillers but the longer I stayed awake the more obnoxious they got.

So, my husband forced me to go from the couch to the bed and placed a hot water bottle under the covers with me, which was amazingly therapeutic.

By Friday, though, the bleeding had become bright red. Where is the blood coming from anyway, my uterus is empty?

My gynecologist had given me her cell phone number for the weekend in case, “The blood is red or the pain is constant.” Crap! I called her office to report the red blood.

She decided to have the lab go back and check my progesterone values from the two blood tests she had done earlier in the week. Turns out they fell, which is good for a miscarriage, meaning the ectopic pregnancy scenario is less likely. She told me to call her over the weekend if the bleeding exceeds how much I would bleed during a normal period or if the pain is constant.

My Miscarriage Climaxed

On Saturday the climax came. Not the good kind of climax, but the bad kind.

After breakfast, I was totally and utterly exhausted! I could do nothing more than lie on the couch. Before long I started bleeding heavily. I turned to my husband and asked, “Should I call her?” But before he could answer I thought aloud, “What’s she going to do about it?”

The only thing I could think of is that she’d decide to go ahead with a D&C (Dilation and Curettage). But I felt for some reason like my body wasn’t failing me, but doing what it needed to do. The cramps in my abdomen had disappeared and instead I had a pain near the lymph nodes of my groin – the same pain that I had after the surgery for my ectopic pregnancy and endometriosis.

I decided to ride it out.

I have almost no recollection of Saturday. I slept almost the whole day waking up occasionally in tears from the throbbing pain in my groin. I was bleeding a lot. But as the evening turned into night the bleeding began to slow and the painful abdominal cramps that came every night during the week never arrived. All I kept thinking is: Is this the end of the miscarriage?

Experiencing a Miscarriage- A Slow Recovery

On Sunday, I was back on my feet. My husband and I even went on a long winter walk – not to give the impression that it was an enjoyable Sunday though.

My emotions were completely out of whack.

I didn’t ponder the miscarriage, I was just irritated by everything: the fact that the snow was melting, the brown leaves on my house plants, the grey sky. You name it, it was irritating.

Perhaps these were just my hormones settling back down, maybe it was my way of being frustrated about experiencing a miscarriage and a lost week of my life, or maybe brown leaves and grey skies merit complete irritation. I’m going with hormones on this one.

My emotions are a bit better today – even though the skies haven’t turned blue.

Tomorrow I’ll be getting my HCG values tested again to make sure they are going down so we can turn off the ectopic pregnancy alarm. But I think it’s over. My body thinks it’s over. And I am ready to go back to my life. What is that again exactly?

How Diet Affects Fertility

getting pregnant Fertility Blog, Fertility Diet February 21, 2021March 15, 2026

Over the past several months I’ve been researching how diet affects fertility and continuously modifying what I put into my mouth in an effort to kick-start my reproductive system.

It’s been interesting.

Some of the changes have been welcomed by my body and others have been, well, to say it lightly, rejected.

My Fertility Diet

While there are still several books and numerous studies I plan on reviewing; I have developed this initial set of diet principles.

My fertility diet must:

promote a healthy digestive system (with regular, healthy bowel movements)
promote healthy blood sugar levels
exclude all toxins
provide all the nutrients my body needs

Achieving each principle individually required me to make some changes to my diet, but turned out to b

e relatively straightforward. Changing my diet to incorporate all of these principles simultaneously, however, has led my body to some moments of protest (most notably constipation and weight loss).

Now, I do have to admit that my diet is more complicated than most since I used to be a vegetarian and now include fish, but still do not eat meat or poultry (which is likely to change soon).

Changes I Had to Make to My Diet to Maximize

Fertility

So what went wrong?

Well, I found out what nutrients needed to be in my diet and how to avoid toxins. Then I promoted a healthy digestive system which, for me, was a bit of a challenge, but doable.

A few of the changes I made for this, for example, were to eliminate all cheeses and to increase my vegetable intake, especially including regular servings of parsley and the green leafy vegetable called rocket or arugula.

These changes were helpful in making me regular, but not quite enough.

So on days when my system was slow or non-responsive, I made myself a big bowel of vegetable soup in the morning – yes, I ate vegetable soup for breakfast (without a side of orange juice). This inevitably kick-started my system and sent me to the bathroom for a healthy bowel movement in the morning hours.

Discovering How Diet Affects Fertility and Problems I Encountered

So what’s the problem?

Well, after increasing my intake of vegetables and having vegetable soup for breakfast a couple times a week, I lost weight.

For me, this is totally counter productive. The simple answer to counter weight loss would be to increase calories. This proved difficult, however, since adding calories as a non-meat eater lead to conflicts with the other diet principles.

Here are a few of the problems I faced:

adding too many carbohydrates (even quality carbohydrates like beans and brown rice) is counterproductive to maintaining a healthy blood sugar level
eating more fish sent my digestive system into a full stop mode (and potentially adds too many toxins due to mercury – fish twice a week is the recommended dosage)
adding nuts wasn’t enough calories and also not easy on my digestive system
adding more healthy fats from their natural source was tough since I have excluded dairy (majority of my research points to dairy as harmful to fertility)

The Solution

The only solution that I currently see to this conundrum is to add poultry and/or meat to my diet for fertility. (It’s been about 5 years since I last ate poultry and about 15 years since I ate meat.) As long as this big move away from the vegetarian diet agrees with my digestive system, it will make meeting the principles of my fertility diet easier.

What I Discovered: How Diet Affects Fertility Main Principles

Choose ‘good’ carbohydrates, including whole grains and vegetables- all essential for energy, vitamins and minerals and bowel movement
Eliminate trans-fats and include high quality ones such as Omega -3 Fatty Acids
Add more plant protein to the mix
Take a premium multivitamin with pro fertility ingredients
Swap out sugar sweetened beverages for water

Discovering how diet affects fertility has been an iterative process. Let’s see where this next step takes me.

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Celiac and Infertility

getting pregnant Fertility Blog, Fertility Problems February 20, 2021March 15, 2026

It’s time to say it… Infertility Sucks! Today I want to share the challenges I have with managing my celiac and infertility- especially at Christmas time!

The holidays don’t make this any easier as pregnant women seem to be out in droves and you wish you were hanging ornaments on your tree that said ‘My First Christmas.’

No ornaments, no big belly – just a fertility diet that clashes with Christmas buffets like Crocs with an evening gown.

‘Celiac and Infertility’ Family Recruitment Plan

But instead of going any further down the ‘infertility sucks’ road than I already have, I want find a way to get through this holiday enjoying each and every gathering with family and friends. This, I believe, is only going to happen with their support.

So, since my body is thriving on my new fertility diet, I feel like I need to let my family know what I’m doing and why. This way, I don’t have to stumble over my words as I decline half the dishes on the table or pretend like I’m excited about the mounds of chocolate in my stocking (my mouth is watering as I just write the word).

Essentially, I want to recruit them to my team – which is a heck of a lot easier than always wondering how I can politely decline that appetizer again and wondering if I can resist the chocolate when it comes with,

“Oh, come on, a little sugar is good for you.”

My solution: Let them know exactly where I stand. The result is an email that I wrote yesterday. It came pouring out of me. There is no asking or explaining with apologies. Instead, I wrote about what I’ve been going through, how I feel, and how they can help.

When I hit the send button, a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Letter to My Family:

Hi Fam,

I wanted to send you guys this email to let you know what has been going on. It’s a bit long – but bear with me.

Over the past year I have been really struggling with my health.

I know I have talked about it a lot to the point where I seemed obsessed. The truth is: I was really scared.

I lost over ten pounds (dropped a pants and bra size), was losing my hair (noted by me and my hair dresser), was bleeding during bowel movements, had constipation, was extremely fatigued, had acne that the dermatologists couldn’t cure, woke up nightly with muscle cramps, had abdominal pain that kept me in bed some days for the whole day, had hip pain so strong that I could not sleep on my side, had tailbone pain that made sitting for longer periods painful.

This is a lot – and it’s not even everything!

I’ve tried really hard to gain the weight back over the last three months consuming around 2500 calories a day (many days eating more than Richard). But each morning I could still see my all my ribs in the mirror and hadn’t gained an ounce.

I finally went to the doctor several weeks ago. He found nothing except for low iron and an underactive thyroid.

He tested me for celiac disease (a disease in which gluten damages the intestine so you can’t absorb nutrients from food – which came back negative), but since I was already on a virtually gluten free diet, it wasn’t valid.

The only way to do a valid test is to eat a considerable amount of gluten for at least several weeks (a.k.a. – damage you intestine) and run the test which may take from months to years to show a positive reading. I did not want to do this.

Instead I increased my diet to 100% gluten free – after reading that only a ¼ gram can cause damage to your intestine without creating symptoms. This was three weeks ago.

Over the past three weeks I’ve watched my skin clear up entirely, my energy has returned, I have no tailbone pain, no bleeding during bowel movements, regular bowel movements, and I have no muscle cramps. And best of all: I gained 2 pounds!!!

I can’t express how happy I am.

So why am I telling you all this? I wanted to let you guys know for several reasons.

I can not eat gluten. Which means I am not eating out at all and when/if you cook for me I will either make my own or read all the ingredients you use. Gluten hides in everything (spices, sauces, etc).
When I am complicated because I make different food or don’t eat something, know that it is not because I want to do it: I have to do it. You don’t need to do anything extra for me, I just ask that you respect the situation and understand that this is not all in my head.
Celiac disease is hereditary. I do not have a diagnosis, but it could not be any more obvious (not to mention that both mom and grandma have discovered over the years that they have trouble with wheat/gluten). When I heard that our new arrivals in the family are having digestive problems I wanted to share this information with you. Undetected celiac disease can lead to a myriad of health problems because the body is not getting the nutrients it needs. And it would be important to diagnose because if you have it, you have to follow a 100% gluten free diet. A partially gluten free diet may reduce symptoms but does not prevent damage and, it complicates diagnosis.

And by the way, celiac disease has been linked to infertility. So, let’s hope that this solves my other problem.

Love,
Dina

Interesting Findings from A Celiac and Infertility Study

When women with undiagnosed celiac disease, had 11 more miscarriages per 1,000 pregnancies and 1.62 more stillbirths per 1,000 pregnancies.
In the two years leading up to a celiac disease diagnosis, women become pregnant less often, with 25 less pregnancies per 1,000.
Pregnancy problems in women undiagnosed was 15 more per 1,000 pregnancies compared to women who did not have celiac disease.
Women with infertility were 3.5 times more likely to have celiac than the ‘controls.’

Ref: 2018 Danish study published in the journal Human Reproduction.

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What is a Fertility Mud Bath?

getting pregnant Fertility Blog, Fertility Treatments February 15, 2021March 15, 2026

Mud baths are thick, black and… well, muddy! This much I knew before I climbed into one, but there is certainly much more to them than that. In this post I share my fertility mud bath experience.

Black Oxygen Organics – Fulvic Mud Bath – Reduce the Effects of Inflammation and Oxidative Stress – Detox and Revitalize the Body

Mud baths have been used here in the Bavarian Alps to treat infertility for over 150 years. Recently, scientific studies conducted by Dr. med. André-Michael Beer have backed up this claim by showing that the peat here contains substances that impact the regulation of hormones – in addition to stimulating circulation and activating metabolism.

After learning about the power of these mud baths my husband and I headed there for a two week vacation at the beginning of this year.

We signed up for the ‘Peat Baby’ program, and I came home pregnant! The pregnancy turned out to be ectopic, but it was the first time I had ever been pregnant. It was possible.

What isn’t possible though, is to say if the pregnancy was due solely, in-part or not at all to the mud baths since it was only one of the many things I was doing to boost my fertility. A positive pregnancy test was reason enough to try again though.

So, last Friday I began another fertility mud bath treatment session. I’ll be going every other day (excluding weekends) for a total of five mud baths.

What is a Fertility Mud Bath Like?

When I arrive in the little room a woman helps me take off my robe and I step into the black concoction. I’m told to step into the far end of the tub and then sit down.

Getting into mud this thick really does require instructions. Once my feet are in I sit down on the mud (stress ‘on’), lean back and wiggle until I am submerged up to my neck.

Copper Coil

As I’m making the final adjustments to my position the lady begins to spread the mud over my body so that everything is evenly covered – except for the area over my heart. This area she wipes clear and places a cold copper coil. Very cold.

When I ask her what this is for she says simply to relieve the strain on the heart. ‘Strain on my heart?’ Before my look of confusion fades the lady has left the room.

Now, I get to sit in here for the next 15 minutes and enjoy the warm mud- 102.2 degrees warm to be exact. Each time I’ve taken the mud bath, my body has reacted differently. Sometimes, I feel like the bath is nice and warm and sometimes I think I may explode from the heat as the sweat pores down my forehead.

Yesterday was the later. At this point, I’ve submerged my hands and arms in the mud as well and I can’t resist squishing the peat through my fingers. It’s not the smooth pureed mixture I expected. In fact, I can feel little sticks and clumps that are fun to break apart. This distracts me quite well from the heat because before long the lady is back and says I can get out.

As she helps me get out and shower off, the two little glass doors open up and a strong arm reaches in to pull the tub out. I hear a cheerful “good morning” and the tub disappears.

Where Does the Mud Go?

It turns out that the mud is one use only. Every other morning a truckload is ‘harvested’ and brought to the different spa hotels in town. After its one use, the mud is recycled. Recycled?

I asked how long it takes to recycle peat, and I’m told so long that they haven’t even used any recycled mud yet. For some reason this makes me feel better – like I’m sitting in the original fully potent stuff.

That Mud Bath Feeling

After I’m bundled back in my robe, I head to the quite relaxation room where I’m wrapped in two blankets with my feet elevated. This is the best part. I fully relax. I’m tired and calm. And a perfect warmth has engulfed my body.

They say mud baths can be exhausting. It’s true. I’m pretty tired. I’ve been going to bed early and have even taken one nap since I started the treatments. I have three more to go, let’s see what happens.

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Laparoscopic Surgery for an Ectopic Pregnancy

getting pregnant Ectopic Pregnancy, Fertility Blog February 5, 2021March 15, 2026

My mind is trying to grasp reality: I have an ectopic pregnancy; it could explode at any moment. The mass has grown to approximately 2 cm in diameter in my tube. With urgency in his voice my doctor asks when I last ate. I stumble over my words still trying to swallow my diagnosis, “About 10 minutes ago.” I will be undergoing laparoscopic surgery for an ectopic pregnancy.

Urgency

He frowns. We need to get you into surgery as soon as possible but we’ll have to wait at least four hours since you last ate.

“Your surgery will be at 4pm. The nurse will come up to your room to prepare you and you’ll have the time until then to mentally prepare yourself.”

I turn to leave and as soon as I step outside his office, tears roll down my face. I’m going in for surgery. There is not one more ounce of hope: this pregnancy is over.

“I’m scared,” is all I can say to Richard.

He holds my hand all the way back to my room. The nurse comes in shortly after we arrive and asks Richard to leave. Everything is feeling more and more like surgery. She gives me an enema and tells me she can shave off my pubic hair or I can do myself in the shower if I prefer.

“Here are some Q-tips to clean your bellybutton too,” she says before leaving the room.

Feeling Terrified

My breathing is shallow and my whole body is stiff. I’m scared. All I can do is try to concentrate on the ‘tasks’ I now have to do.

Richard comes back in and asks how I’m doing as I hold the liquid in a place where liquid is not meant to be inserted.

“I have five minutes until I can go to the bathroom,” I tell him while concentrating.

He somehow manages to make me laugh distracting me from my urge to watch the seconds go by on my watch. Finally, the five minutes are over.

Shower

Next, it’s into the shower. I look down in disbelief that I have to do this. Richard waits next to the shower at my request – my tube could theoretically explode any minute. Really though I want him there for moral support. I begin shaving away. It’s a really weird feeling going bald. There seems to be no progress as I try a myriad of different techniques and angles.

Richard is patiently waiting for me and inquires about my progress. “Almost done,” I assure him.

I come out of the shower with no more hair and a clean belly button. “Looks pretty strange, eh?” I ask knowing the answer.

“Yes, that is”, he confirms.

Laparoscopic Surgery for an Ectopic Pregnancy – Waiting!

We killed only an hour. We have three more hours until I go into the laparoscopic surgery procedure. What the hell am I going to do until then?

We talk. Richard reads me an article out of The Oprah Magazine. As time goes by I get more and more accustomed to the fact that I will be having surgery.

My fear does not subside but, I’ve accepted the fact.

Every little twinge in my side makes me paranoid. What if it explodes before surgery? I’m too concerned. I call the nurse in to tell her I’m having pain in my side. She sees the fear on my face and nods her head like she doesn’t know what to do with the information.

To be completely honest, I don’t even know if the pain is real or imagined.

Laparoscopic Surgery for an Ectopic Pregnancy

It’s a quarter to four when the nurse comes in. She is here to take me to surgery. “You need to leave your glasses here”, she says. I put my glasses on the tray next to my bed leaving me completely blind. I say goodbye to Richard as she rolls me out of the room on my bed.

We’re in the elevator and once we roll out into a hallway I realize we’re in a part of the hospital I have never been in. Everything is going by in a blur. She rolls my bed into the prep room.

A doctor is there to help me move over to the surgery bed. I hate that I can’t see his face as he talks to me and tells me where to put my arms.

At this point I wish they would just put me out. I don’t want to know what is going on as I’m being prepped. I’m just getting more and more nervous as my surroundings become more unfamiliar.

Laparoscopic Surgery Anesthesia

I’m rolled into the surgery room by the faceless man. The anesthesiologist goes over some paperwork with me and asks me if I ate anything since noon. Please will you put me out?

Somehow, I realize this is not going to happen soon, so I decide to concentrate on calming myself down. I begin to breathe deeply and say a mantra in my head. My body begins to relax. Meanwhile, the anesthesiologist is using my stomach as a table to finalize the forms.

“Sign here,” he says. I can’t even see that there is a line to sign on. I squint and make my best guess.

Back to breathing. I listen to my heart rate beep on the machine next to me and breathe in for two counts and out for four. The needle is now in my hand it must start working soon …

After Laparoscopic Surgery for an Ectopic Pregnancy

Convulsing, cold and pain. That is all I can remember from waking up in my room. Richard, however, remembers it quite vividly.

The doctor came down to my room before I was out of surgery to tell Richard that it went very well. As they were talking, the nurse rolled me in my room on my bed.

Pain

My body was convulsing and my eyes were moving independently of each other. In pain, I pleaded for someone to give me something for my pain. I heard voices assuring me they were working on it.

When my pain did not subside I asked why I heard promises but I still had pain. The pain was accompanied by an indescribable cold.

Cold

Having been winter camping for three nights in northern Wisconsin I know what cold is, but after that surgery I felt an indescribable frigidness that topped those nights in the tent. The nurse tucked another blanket around me. And the doctor affectionately brushed his hand along my check.

Richard asked half frustrated, half jokingly if he should run to the pharmacy and get me something for my pain. He then turned to the nurse and asked if this was normal. She could see that he knew the answer was no.

But the explanation as to why I had to endure this was what Richard was after. The nurse looked him in the eye and explained,

“The standard procedure is for the patient to wake up in the wake-up room where drugs are administered that wake the patient up slowly and treat their pain. For this, the patient has to be connected to a breathing machine. We only have the staff here for that during the week. This is an emergency surgery; we usually do not do surgeries here on the weekend.”

In short, they don’t have the staff here to give me a warm fuzzy wake-up.

Eventually, the doctor and nurse left my room and Richard sat next to my bed and held my hand while I moaned in pain. Impatiently waiting for the nurse to return with pain medication, Richard finally pressed the call button.

Relief at Last

Less than a minute later the nurse came into my room with an IV of pain relief. It seemed to take forever but the medication did take effect and my moans got softer.

My brain started to function normally as the evening went on. I woke up and saw Richard reading a magazine in the chair at the foot of my bed. Later, I opened my eyes to see my fertility doctor standing just inside my room. He had a concerned look on his face and didn’t seem to know what to say. I thanked him for making the decision to send me in to the hospital. He nodded and that is all I can remember.

As I became more coherent, I became scared. Thoughts crept into my head uninvited. Did everything go OK? I am going to heal completely?

Richard assured me the My laparoscopic surgery was a complete success.

The evening turned into night and I began fading in and out of sleep. Richard sat by my bed and held my hand. His voice always has the most soothing effect on me.

Tonight was no different. “Can you tell me a story?” I innocently requested.

“Of course”, came the reply I was longing to hear. “There once was a lizard walking through a meadow…” I drifted to sleep.

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Fertility Massage Experience

getting pregnant Fertility Blog February 4, 2021March 15, 2026

This must be the hardest post to start writing. I’m going to let you in on a little secret I’ve been harboring about my fertility massage experience.

Strange, really when you think about the topics I’ve poured my heart out over so far – my health, my infertility, my miscarriages.

So what’s with the hesitation to write about a massage?

Well, it’ll become clear shortly because I’ve decided – after much reflection – to write about it.

People may judge me on this and I am, as they say, making myself vulnerable by sharing something so private. But there’s a need inside me just to write it like it is.

This is my experience of life and I think I’ll get more out of my time here and hopefully help others by sharing my experience with my massages to increase fertility openly.

I’m not saying that I’m totally comfortable with my family reading this blog though, but hey, if you are my family and you’re reading this than feel free to read on but know that it may get uncomfortable for you.

Let’s Look at the Benefits of a Fertility Massage

Before going on with my post let’s briefly look at the benefits of massages for fertility.

Improves lymphatic, circulatory & nervous systems by increasing blood flow to reproductive & pelvic organs by relieving congestion & misalignment to these organs.
Strengthens and tones the uterus and surrounding ligaments to optimize fertilization and embryo implantation.
Increases a sense of well being, strengthening the immune system, and stimulating the balanced production of hormones.

Maya Abdominal Massages Not Like a Fertility Massage

Let me get to the story.

My husband and I made a fertility plan back in February, which I wrote about in my blog: Fertility Planning.

Turns out I was miscarrying at the time when we made the plan (thought it was just my period), but now we’re back to the fertility plan and, we decided not to amend it. On the schedule for April was Maya Abdominal Massages to increase fertility.

I’ve done these massages before while I was in Chicago on an extended trip. They were outstanding. But the thing is, I don’t live in Chicago and the closest Maya Abdominal massage therapist from where I live now is four hours away.

What I did find nearby was a massage therapist visiting from South America that was offering womb massages for fertility.

“Maybe it’ll be similar to the Maya Abdominal Massages since the cultures of South America are probably similar to the cultures of the Maya area”, was my naïve line of thinking.

My Fertility Massage- an Very Unusual Experience!

The massage to increase fertility and the Mayan massage for fertility that I’ve experienced before have absolutely nothing in common.

The first appointment I had with this therapist was for a regular massage back in March for my birthday. I thought it would be good just to see how I liked the therapist in general before going in for a fertility massage.

It was amazing. But there’s a bit of an issue. Yes, let’s call it an issue!

During the massage I became aroused. Yes, I’m writing that here in black on white!

What can I say, I’m human and, my body reacted that way to the massage. Was that the therapist’s intentions? I don’t know, but if I were pressured to answer I would say it’s probably yes. And for those of you that have a curiosity that’s running wild, let me help you, the massage therapist is a man and no, I am in no way attracted to him.

Relaxing or Irritating

After the massage, I sat on the massage bench and he asked me how I liked the massage for fertility.

The voice that came out of me was not one I was familiar with. It was deeper and lighter. I was in a relaxed state that I’ve only reached a few times before in my adult life (usually after days of meditation).

This was pure relaxation with a slight feeling of irritation. Yes, irritation. How can I be irritated after hours of massage? Because I was aroused, but had done everything in my willpower not to succumb to what every cell in my body wanted.

Now, for the thoughts in my head: “Do I tell him this?” “Is my husband going to be mad?” “Am I a bad person?”

Fessing Up to My Fertility Masseuse

All I could decide on the spot in such a state is that I would tell him that I couldn’t totally relax because of the arousal factor and next time it would be good if he could prevent that so that I can totally relax.

This would be a tough conversation to have if we both spoke the same language, but we don’t, so it was really tough.

We spoke in choppy English sentences and I left not knowing if he fully understand what I meant and also wondering if he understood that I was transformed by and very grateful for his massage.

A Free Fertility Massage

I needed three full weeks to reflect on all this and talk to my husband who said as long as I don’t feel violated he doesn’t see a problem. And then I called for second appointment.

This is where things start to get a little overwhelming.

The fertility massage therapist said he wanted to give me a longer massage this time – for free. I asked him why for free, and at the end of our choppy English dialogue, he said that it is a gift to be able to help me and it gives him more experience.

I’m sorry, but these are the best massages of my life and he needs experience?

I guess it’s important to say here that this is not your average massage therapist. He comes from the Amazon Rainforest and has spent years in ashrams.

Oh yes, and after giving me a massage he said thank you several times.

Fertility Massage Number 2

So about massage number two. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. It began at 3:00 in the afternoon and ended at 9:00 at night. Yes, it was six hours long!

I couldn’t possibly describe in words the massage, but to say that it was like a dance where I was being touched and moved to the tone of devotion to healing – to which I surrendered.

I am not describing a dream; I am describing a real life experience.

The Catch?

Is your brain where my brain is: “There must be a catch?”

Maybe there is a catch; maybe I’m missing something. But why do we always have to assume the worst? Why not enjoy life how it is today instead of postulating everything that could be wrong.

I had told him during this second massage that he needs to make sure to keep a very good distance so that I do not become aroused. I was able to keep it together for the first five hours, but during the last hour I – or shall I say my body – gave in, again!

Time to Leave

I quickly got up to leave. I told him that I can’t do that in my culture and he said that it’s hard for him to massage according to conditions. In his culture the massage is for the body as a whole.

When I got home I talked with my husband about my unusual, but best fertility massage experience ever, and in a nutshell, he said that if I feel that it is helping me heal and I’m comfortable with the massage than that is all he needs to know.

Before we went to bed he added in a soft but sure tone, “I know where your heart is.”

Again, this conversation, just like the massage, really happened – it was not a dream.

My Husband is Awesome!

The next morning we talked about it again as I was still struggling with what I have learned to be an acceptable cultural behavior, and he again had nothing but comforting, wise words for me, “It used to be that when a woman needed CPR in public it wasn’t performed because it was improper to touch her breast.” He went on to say that for him what is important is that I find healing.

After our talks I felt so accepted and so loved. It was one of the most bonding talks I have ever had with my husband. We’ve known each other now for almost sixteen years and somehow I feel like we’re entering a new level of understanding and love. One that is about something deeper than rules and structure, but about living life and doing everything we can to help each other to find health and happiness.

This massage for fertility is bringing my body and soul to a place I have always dreamed they would be.

I’ll also tell you that I am not the only one that benefited from the massage. The following weekend was one of the most intimate weekends my husband and I have ever had. I mean, what was I to do with a feeling of arousal that lasted for three intense days.

Very happy me! Very happy husband!

I called the massage therapist today to say thank you. I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I have the privilege of receiving another massage.

And now I can let go of my conflicting feelings and enjoy the massage for the transforming experience that it is, which has very little to do with the aspect of arousal and everything to do with the healing of body and soul.

Infertility Support Group

getting pregnant Fertility Blog, Fertility Treatments January 19, 2021March 15, 2026

Studies show that psychotherapy alleviates anxiety and depression for women going through infertility – probably something a lot of us could benefit from. But to be totally honest, this wasn’t reason enough for me to go out and join an infertility support group and become one of ‘those’ people.

Can Psychotherapy Increase Fertility?

That is until I did the in-depth research for the Stress Reduction Page and came across numerous studies that gave me the all powerful motivation: psychotherapy seems to improve fertility.

I’ve done crazier things to try and get pregnant – like sit in the mud, drink olive oil, become a human pin cushion – but somehow going to a support group wasn’t something I saw myself doing.

We go to the dentist when our teeth hurt, but going to get help when we need support emotionally is something that so many of us resist. The possibility that it may boost my fertility, though, was enough to tip the scale.

Finding an Infertility Support Group Near Me

I found a support group near me, and after filing the info away for several months, I finally did it: I called. I showed up and became one of ‘those’ people – whatever that means.

Telling my infertility story to a group of women that know exactly what it’s like was so, well, therapeutic. They knew. I didn’t have to explain why I had an overwhelming feeling of sadness at the announcement of a friend’s pregnancy. I didn’t need to justify myself – I could see it in their eyes – they knew. The knot in my stomach started to dissolve and quite honestly, I felt relieved.

The Support Felt Great!

When I left, I was surprised how much better I felt.

In hindsight, I have no idea why I was so surprised. It’s certainly not new that women need and rely on one another. We have issues that men just don’t have and sometimes there’s just no substitute for sharing an experience with women who know exactly what you’re going through. They also have good advice including how to deal with and help with your partner’s emotional needs – advice that your partner can’t give you.

The Benefits of an Infertility Support Group

RESOLVE, the not-for-profit national infertility association, lists on its website several benefits for participation in a support group like enhanced self-esteem and decreased sense of isolation.

I can say that I’ve experienced both of these. Now, if I could just experience the ultimate benefit that is showing up in the studies I’ve researched and is also mentioned on the RESOLVE website, “… a 2000 study found that attendees of RESOLVE support groups had higher pregnancy rates than women who didn’t attend a support group” (1).

Until then, I’m going to enjoy the fact that going to an infertility support group makes me feel better.

If you are seeking an Infertility Support Group near you, check out the groups listed on the RESOLVE website HERE.

Infertility and Celiac Disease

getting pregnant Fertility Blog, Fertility Diet, Fertility Problems January 18, 2021March 15, 2026

In this article we look at the link between infertility and Celiac Disease. Numerous studies have indicated that celiac disease may be more common in people with unexplained infertility, and that treatment may help restore fertility. Celiac has been linked to recurrent miscarriage, premature babies, and low-birth-weight babies.

What’s gluten?

Gluten is a protein found in wheat, rye and barley. It turns out that in approximately 1 out of 100 healthy Americans the immune system responds to the consumption of this protein by attacking the wall of the small intestine – harming its ability to absorb nutrients from food. An astonishing 97% of these people, however, do not even know they have this condition – called celiac disease. (1)

The Link Between Infertility and Celiac Disease

A lot! In fact, the University of Chicago says, “Any individual who has experienced persistent miscarriage or infertility where a medical cause could not be found needs to be tested for celiac disease.”(2) And they are not alone in their recommendation: The Wm. K. Warren Medical Research Center for Celiac Disease recommends 16 situations and/or conditions for which celiac should be considered, one of which is: “unexplained infertility or miscarriage” (3).

And although the probability of having celiac disease is around 1% for the average healthy American, the probability increases to 6% for women with unexplained infertility (1).

A Case of Infertility and Celiac Disease

Stacey Roberts from Sharkey’s Healing Center shared a case in her August 2008 newsletter that she had of a couple who had been trying to conceive for three years and received the diagnosis of unexplained infertility.

After one failed IVF cycle and a few months of herbs from the healing center with no success, the center recommend that the woman get tested for celiac disease since she had also mentioned having mild digestive problems (which did not respond to diet adjustments).

Her doctor was opposed to the idea, but did the tests anyway. The tests came back positive and after three months on a gluten-free diet the couple conceived and was in their second trimester when the newsletter was published.

Celiac Disease

Haven’t heard of celiac disease? This isn’t because it’s rare – it’s more common than Crohn’s Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson’s disease – combined (4). But this disease is not well known by the general public, or well understood by general practitioners, nor is it easy to diagnose: the average delay in diagnosis in the United States after the onset of symptoms is four years (1).

There are more than 200 signs and symptoms of celiac disease (2), but only 10% of patients have what are considered typical symptoms (5) and 41% of patients have no symptoms at all (1).

The Wm. K. Warren Medical Research Center for Celiac Disease at the University of California, San Diego states that the symptoms for celiac disease are varied, but may include any of the following (3):

Bloating, gas or abdominal pain
Diarrhea or constipation
Chronic fatigue and weakness
Indigestion
Itchy skin rash
Fatigue and weakness
Irritability or behavior change
Unexplained weight loss
Delayed growth
Mouth ulcers
Tingling or numbness in hands & feet

How is Celiac Disease Treated?

The treatment of celiac disease is a gluten-free diet for life. But experts strongly discourage going on a gluten-free diet until a firm diagnosis has been made since a gluten-free diet (even for just a month) makes a diagnosis difficult (6).

Is a Gluten-free Diet Everyone’s Solution?

No. Absolutely not. But since it’s not recognized well by doctors, it may be up to the patient to pay attention to their own signs and symptoms and suggest the testing.

Why am I so Interested in Infertility and Celiac Disease?

I’ve been suffering from digestive issues for a while now. They include bloating, constipation, and blood in the stool. Unfortunately, I started a gluten-free diet before I being tested.

Gluten Challenge

If I wanted a definitive diagnosis now, after a gluten-free diet, I would have to do what is called a gluten challenge and eat gluten for 2-4 weeks before taking the tests.

If I have celiac disease, this would mean damaging my intestine to get a diagnosis. And not all patients can even test at the end of the four week challenge: some may have to wait years to relapse (7). I don’t have years in terms of fertility. So I’ve decided against going through this for a diagnosis.

Not Sticking to the Diet

Over the past few months, I’ve fallen off the gluten-free diet a bit. I’ve traveled a lot which leads to eating out, which leads to unintentionally ingesting gluten – if you’ve been on a gluten-free diet you know how easily this happens with gluten hiding in everything from spices, to pasta sauces, to grilled fish.

I’ve also been unknowingly including another food item that many experts think may not be safe – oats. I’ve had them almost every morning for breakfast.

Sticking with a Gluten Free Diet

I’m on a 100% gluten-free diet now though. For the last week I’ve strictly followed it – no eating out and no items with any questionable ingredients (it takes only ¼ gram of wheat to cause damage (8)).

The blood in my stool has completely disappeared and I haven’t had any spells of fatigue, nor found any sources that mention a link between gluten and blood in the stool, but I have tested it time and time again and for me it’s linked.

I haven’t been able to gain any weight, yet, but perhaps that’s coming. We’ll see how this 100% gluten-free diet goes. I do wish I had gotten a diagnosis first, though.

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How Long to Wait After Miscarriage?

getting pregnant Fertility Blog, Miscarriage January 16, 2021March 15, 2026

What I seek to know is how long to wait after miscarriage before we need to focus on conceiving again? I mean, how hard can it be to take a little break from the whole fertility topic?

Pretty damn hard if you have a post miscarriage check-up scheduled in which your gynecologist wants to discuss your fertility planning.

Originally I thought, I have to be there anyway so what’s a twenty minute fertility chat?

Oh, the ramifications.

Getting the Answers to ‘How Long to Wait After Miscarriage?’

I was on the ever so comfortable chair with my feet in the air looking at an ultrasound image hanging from the ceiling.

She was maneuvering the wand around to get a look at my ovaries, my uterus, and my notorious fallopian tubes when she noticed that my left fallopian tube was slightly swollen. Not that I could identify it on the monitor, but she went on to explain that this could be the remnants of an ectopic pregnancy that my body is still recovering from. And then she opened the conversation, “You need to give your body a chance to heal before you begin trying again to conceive.”

I could see she thought she was going to meet some resistance from me, but I already knew we had to wait out this cycle – no big deal.

Not quite!

She stopped looking at the ultrasound monitor, looked me straight in the eye, and said, “You need to wait three months before trying again.”

I protested immediately.

“What? That seems extreme. That’s how long we waited after my ectopic pregnancy surgery and this is certainly much less for my body to recover from.”

She went on to explain that my body needs one normal healthy cycle before we begin trying again. “The current cycle is your miscarriage cycle, the next one isn’t going to be normal so after the third cycle you can try again,” she said with a stern compassion.

Given my long cycles though, it could be June before we can try again to conceive!

She could tell: I was not on the same page.

My Fallopian Tubes

After a little more explaining she moved right on to the next topic. My fallopian tubes. She said it would be pointless to keep trying if in-fact my tubes are blocked or compromised, and recommended that I have them checked to see if they are clear.

Oh boy. Now, I’m really not with her. Not on a different page – I’m in an entirely different book!

I already had my tubes checked (a few months before I had my ectopic pregnancy, actually) and they came out clear. So while the surgery could have created a blocked right tube, it does not seem like the test is any indication that they are going to function properly. I supposed if it turned up that both my tubes were blocked it would be good to know, but I had just become pregnant so, obviously, they’re not.

Fertility with IVF??

I started to get up and she asked me when my last breast exam was. With this infertility issue dominating my visits I had to say I couldn’t remember so I moved over to the table and she began the breast exam and continued the fertility planning conversation. Oh, joy.

She got right to the point, “You need to think about how long you are going to try on your own. I would give it six months and then consider going right to IVF.”

This hit me like a ton of bricks. Basically, she’s not rooting for my body anymore; she thinks it’s time to jump ship. So to emphasize her point she then added what no one with infertility likes to hear, “The clock is ticking.”

I hate to be so critical because, if my gynecologist isn’t going to be frank and inform me about the factors influencing my fertility then who will? The thing is: I already know all this information.

I’m what one might call over-informed. I know the role age plays in my fertility and that IVF works best before age 35. I know that the more miscarriages I have the more bleak the statistics look for me. But – and this is a big but – if I’m listening to my body and making lifestyle changes and doing therapies that cause positive changes in my body then I feel there’s still a chance.

So until the progress plateaus: I won’t be turning to invasive methods.

‘How Long to Wait After Miscarriage?’ … Mmm Not Long!

Before I was even out of the building I called my husband, “I need lots of hugs and some soul food.”

We cooked up some fajitas – with extra guacamole and without the shells. And I got lots of hugs. But it was inevitable; we talked about our fertility planning.

I couldn’t stuff my feelings and frustration away. One thing became clear; we don’t plan on waiting a full three cycles until we try again. We plan on waiting one full cycle after my miscarriage cycle. I don’t think my body needs three cycles and I know too many women that have had their first healthy child immediately after a miscarriage – one of these women is my mother.

Well, so much for that break from the infertility topic and thank god for hugs and fajitas.