Coping With My Emotions After Miscarriage

signs of miscarriage

As of this morning, the stitches are out. I feel new. The laparoscopic surgery following my miscarriage is all done. That’s the physical side of things, but what about my emotions after miscarriage?

It would be great if it were indeed that easy, but I think there will be bumps along the way. Like this afternoon. Just a few hours after I felt this renewed feeling, no longer being held together by some thread, I felt a deep sad feeling.


My Physical Wounds After Laparoscopic Surgery Miscarriage

emotions after miscarriageIt’s like I need to take the time now to lick my wounds – physical and emotional. There are four holes that the doctors used to enter my abdomen for the laparoscopic surgery. My belly button and three equally spaced points all just below my underwear line.

Requiring two stitches, the one on my left didn’t seem to heal too well. The wound is still deep and looks like it won’t be closing anytime soon. I’ve put on Aloe Vera lotion, placed a band over it and watched it turn red throughout the day. Not sure that anything I did made it better, but it was therapeutic to tend to my wounds.


Emotions After Miscarriage

The emotional wounds after miscarriage can’t be tended to so easily. It seems that when I least expect it feelings surface – crying for my attention.

My head then fills with thoughts like: “how it could have been to be pregnant with our first child” or “we were so close – literally speaking only a couple of inches” or “will we ever have a child?”

These moments are totally unpredictable. They come when I’m writing an email for work, when I’m on the phone, or when I’m folding my clothes.

The necessities of life are requiring me to move on. How long will I need to deal with the loss of this miscarriage? How can I deal with the pain so that it does not creep into every part of my life? What can I do to help myself recover emotionally from miscarriage?

No one is feeding me answers to these questions. I’m just taking one day at a time.


The Positive Side to Miscarriage

I allow myself to cry. I allow myself to be sad. But I redirect my thoughts when I start to wallow in what could have been. I frequently remind myself of my doctor’s advice to look forward, and I try to focus on the positive side of this. Yes, there is a positive side to an ectopic pregnancy.

For me, this is the first sign after three years of trying to get pregnant that it’s been possible. Having an ectopic pregnancy is certainly not something most would chalk up as progress, but I do. There is hope and I will make it through this – bumps and all.

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